Heron Rising, Dianne Noort Counselling Services. Adults, Family, Children

Humility is a word we all ‘know’ but perhaps view with ambivalence as a desireable trait. I detected the seed of true caring inside humbleness. What nourishment does this seed need for it to sprout?

Since coming back from holiday I find myself working toward precision in my projects. Pulling together experience and new learning in a careful weave. It’s not ‘hard’, but does require a consistent effort and practice. It’s fun to be on a new learning curve.

A little ‘downtime’, to relax, renew, reaffirm. Change of pace, routine. Laugh and appreciate.

Some say “I can’t trust”, meaning emotions are kept hidden. Emotional fluidity enriches our life by bringing ‘colour’ and depth to our experiences. To learn how to feel, acknowledge a feeling when it arises. Just take note “Hmm, this might be a feeling…” If you cannot find a feeling word to describe it, try assigning the sensation a colour and play with this – is it a soft, mild colour, or more vibrant and loud? So as not to become overwhelmed at first, go slowly. Be sure to breathe. At the end of your thoughts, SMILE! This releases tension and transforms what might have been difficult.

Towards the end of January we can sometimes ‘crash’. Our motivation may sag, or it can feel difficult to tackle our daily routine. It’s interesting to note that the mind that did feel more energetic and happy is still there, nonetheless. That being so, how does our focus stubbornly go to this other mindset?

This always feels like the time for new beginnings. Ask: how do I begin?
If “beginning” feels forced, it is coming from ego mind, not the mind really wanting a beginning.

Let it be a day of Light.

I was reading recently that even in darkness, we know the light. In pain, we know relief. In anger we know love. The state that demands attention will be at the forefront, but other states are still there inside us. Our job is to learn where to focus our consciousness. Interesting…

Ultimately there is no avoiding ourselves, no matter how hard we try.

At my reflections yoga class this week, we were asked “What happens when your heart is touched?”.

The bar has been raised in our expectations of emotional intimacy. Men in particular, struggle with knowing how to respond to their loved ones. Practicing therapist and author Terrence Real writes: “helping boys and men be both tender and tough, strong and bighearted, is a new ideal that will take some time to digest.” (The New Rules of Marriage, p. 23).

When my heart is touched, I feel acknowledged and heard.

When we feel anxious and hostile toward our partner, how can we learn to see that something painful or sad lies underneath? At first it can seem that there are no feelings at all beyond this immovable wall of exasperation. At this place in relationship, our very world is threatened, in that we cannot comprehend why or how our partner could crush us this way. Fixing the problem is not where the focus should lie, in this moment, rather finding how we each trigger the other by means of creating space and empathetic congruence, is more helpful. Discovering each other through a stance of curiosity allows us to pull apart the mess of entanglement and re-enter each other’s private world with more acceptance. From here we can learn to really see the hostility as pain.